'Hey Blago … f--- you!'

I consider myself a pretty jaded person, for good or ill. I’m leery of panhandlers, I think even friends and family will take advantage of you from time to time if they think it’s in their own personal best interest and I don’t believe most of what politicians say.

But this Rod Blagojevich thing has me flummoxed. The sheer scope of the sociopathic behavior at work here is stunning. Even as the Illinois governor knew he was the target of a federal corruption probe, he sought the ouster of Chicago Tribune editorial board members and brazenly offered Barack Obama’s vacated U.S. Senate seat to the highest bidder.

The man who once boasted of his testicular virility seems instead to have been suffering from an acute case of procto-cerebralism. In addition to visiting the Tribune’s web site and checking out the federal complaint, also read this Blago profile from the February 2008 Chicago Magazine.

You could wait a lifetime and not encounter an antihero like Blagojevich anywhere in fiction, let alone in real life. I mean, Eliot Spitzer is probably thinking about Blagojevich, “Damn, that dude’s fucked up.” Seriously, Blagojevich was until recently considering making a run for president in 2016.

And, as it turns out, Blago’s better half, Patty, is just as into family values. Hey, the family that says “fuck you” to the world together stays together, or at least serves its prison sentences concurrently.

The worst part is, this helmet-haired dunce sold out his office, the state and the people of Illinois for what amounts to a few hundred thousand bucks. So let me put it in terms Mr. Blagojevich can understand:

Fuck you, Governor.